They have funny expressions for everything... I'm trying to keep a list of them but we're getting dragged all over Berlin at such a pace that I can barely think straight. HOWEVER, I wanted to share with you my new favorite German phrase (this might even beat 'arschfrißthosen!'), which is 'groß vie ein Klodecke,' or 'as big as a toilet seat.' As in, 'that wienerschnitzel is as big as a toilet seat!' Appetizing, eh?



Tuesday was pretty much a blur of meetings, including a really charming guy from Radio Berlin Brandenburg who told us all about covering Maggie Thatcher ('the only man in the British government,' he called her) and a memorable hour-and-a-half rambling rant from the head of the Central Council of German Jews, who came across like a more portly Lloyd Dobler. I'll try to say something intelligent about it over on the official blog, but don't count on it! In the evening, we were all set up on blind dates with German journalists who'd been on the American half of the program. Here's my adorable date, Vladimir Balsky. He does cultural programming (ah, I remember cultural programming) for Germany's equivalent of NPR.



Too bad he's married! We went to a nice Italian restaurant in the hip'n'happening Prenzlauer Berg district and swapped anecdotes about our jobs and various cultural misunderstandings. Which I would write about if it weren't 3:30 in the morning. It was a nice evening.

Yesterday was actually a free day, so we all took a boat tour around the river Spree, and then I buggered off the the Pergamon Museum to see the reconstructed Blue Gate of Babylon. Which was AMAZING... Suck it, D.W. Griffith! I wish some of my pictures had come out so you could see the gorgeous blue glazed tiles with insanely detailed reliefs of bulls and mythical beasts.

But I gotta say the funniest thing that happened yesterday was purely unintentional-- they took us to the central concert hall, which is really lovely, all freshly redone gilding and swags and important busts of important musicians. If only the music had been as good. I knew we were in for an ordeal when our hosts told us we were going to see the "Ensemble Modern Orchestra." You know how every stereotype has a grain of truth somewhere in it? Let me just describe to you this beautiful concert hall, packed to the rafters with rapt Germans of all ages, gazing intently (and quite humorlessly) at the world's largest orchestra (seriously-- two grand pianos, more violins than you could shake a stick at, and at least three separate setups of gongs and chimes and percussion oddments). I am really and truly not kidding when I tell you that I didn't realize the piece had started because I thought it was the janitor knocking shit over backstage. It was only when one of the grand pianos let loose with a pretentious blast of staccato flatulence (betcha didn't think a piano could be flatulent-- you'd be WRONG) that I realized the 'music' had started. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud! It was kind of interesting for about thirty seconds because of the bizarre range of sound coming out of these more or less standard orchestral instruments. But only thirty seconds... after that, I wanted to get the hell out. Our facilitator passed me a note that said 'this is VERY modern,' with a little frowny face, which made me snicker, which of course meant the VERY modern German guy in front of me gave me a filthy look. Thank god we left at intermission and went to dinner. Where we encountered the legendary wienerschnitzel toilet seat. And since this post has now come full circle, I think I'll go to bed!

This statue was in front of the concert hall-- I think he agreed with us about the music. Or she. It's kinda hard to tell.